If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Expensive Greeting Card

If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Expensive Card: Sarcastic Birthday Humor

It takes decades of sitting in a dark, dusty room to reach top-shelf status, and they are well past the initial fermentation stage. The "If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Very Expensive" Greeting Card wraps an unsparing jab about their advancing age in the silky smooth disguise of high-society flattery. Featuring a smug, velvet-robed gentleman raising a tumbler to vintage decay, this card strikes the right balance between a classy toast and a blunt reminder that their warranty expired years ago.

Printed on heavyweight luster stock, the rich amber palette and retro editorial art make getting older look deceptively distinguished. The interior is completely blank, leaving plenty of unfiltered space to tally up their joint aches, debate their actual bottle date, or offer a stiff pour to numb the reality. Each card includes a matching white mailing envelope, ready to slide across the table or drop in the post.

If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Expensive Greeting Card Specifications:

• Dimensions: 5" x 7" (folded)
• Material: Heavyweight luster cardstock
• Interior: Blank
• Inclusions: Matching white mailing envelope
• Print: Full-color exterior

Card Dimensions: Standard 5" x 7" - classic A7 greeting card size

Card Style: Funny greeting card with vibrant, full-color front artwork and blank interior for personalized handwritten messages

What's Included: 1 card and 1 white Kraft self-seal envelope 

Paper Stock: Premium heavyweight 14pt (100 lb) archival-quality cardstock engineered for durability and a substantial hand-feel

Exterior Finish: Satin semi-gloss coating for crisp artwork detail, sharp contrast, and rich color reproduction

Interior Finish: Smooth uncoated matte writing surface for smudge-free notes with pens, markers, or pencils

Origin: Proudly designed and printed in the USA